Slogans
by Xayhra
Summary: I was bored and came up with this. The characters of RA say the trademarks of assorted companies and products. Can you imagine our loveable Slagor and Borsa singing "It's a Pillow! It's a Pet! It's a Pillow Pet!"? Or, better yet, King Ferris and Halt? K plus to be safe. Halt and Will will appear most often.
1. Chapter 1

**I was bored and came up with this. I'll probably delete it. Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes and any mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, State Farm, Geico, or McDonalds.**

**State Farm**

Halt was sitting in the kitchen and going through the day's mail. Will was sweeping the floor around the fireplace. It had been a year since Will's time as a slave in Skandia, and Halt still made him clean the house.

A newlywed couple was living a mile away in the forest, and the Rangers didn't like it.

Suddenly a knock sounded on the door. Halt frowned. It was probably that new couple. Halt sighed and stood up. He walked to the door and pulled it open.

The couple stood on the doorstep. A tall man grinned at him. "You should be a State Farm agent. You'd definitely be a good neighbor," the man's wife said.

Halt stared at them. The man suddenly yelled, "Like a good neighbor State Farm is there!" Suddenly a man appeared, took one look at Halt, and they all made a break for it.

**Geico**

Erak walked onto Svengal's new wolfship, which reminded him that he needed boat insurance.

"Hi, Erak!" Svengal called. "You know those new insurance people?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, they have the best slogan!"

"What is it?" Erak asked despite himself.

"'15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.'"

"How is that the best slogan? It doesn't even say boat insurance! What the heck's a car?"

"That's why it's so awesome! We don't know what it means!"

Erak just rolled his eyes and decided to ignore him.

**McDonalds**

Halt sat in his chair by the fire and glared at his paperwork. Will had gone to a new fast food restaurant called McDonalds. Will had gone to McDonalds several times that month.

Suddenly, the door opened and Halt was shocked out of his train of thought. Will opened his mouth, but Halt interrupted him, "If you sing that abominable trademark song _one_ more time, I'll personally make sure you don't so much as look at a cup of coffee for a month."

Will weighed this threat against the look of extreme annoyance on Halt's face. The look of extreme annoyance on Halt's face won. "Babubapbapba, I'm lovin' it!" Will sang.

**So, should I continue this? Is it horrible? Please review. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I am persuaded. I will continue this fic. Thank you to AreiaCananaid, paisley15, With-the-Wolves, Writer-born-from-Shadows, and Guest reviewer FarmersDaughter for all their reviews! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes and any mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Jimmy John's, Kohl's, or L'Oreal. **

**Jimmy John's**

Crowley paced around his office. It was his first day as Ranger Commandant. And, as being the first Ranger Commandant in King Duncan's reign, Crowley deserved good food and fast delivery.

Crowley grabbed the phonebook and sat down in the large leather chair. He flipped through the large yellow book. "Ah ha!" Jimmy John's.

He dialed the number. "Hello? Jimmy John's. This is Ed speaking. Can I take your order please?"

"Yes," Crowley said, "I would like a Turkey Tom please."

"Alright, that will be $4.77. I'll be right there."

Crowley put the phone down, and, just as he realizing that he hadn't even given Ed the address, there was a knock on the door. "Jimmy John's!"

Well, that was freaky. Crowley opened the door. A young man about eighteen stood on the doorstep. "H-how did you get here so fast?"

The man, who Crowley presumed to be Ed, said, "Subs so fast you freak, sir."

And boy did Crowley freak. He screamed and ran out the door and into the Grand Hall, barreling straight into King Duncan and not even stopping.

Duncan stared after Crowley's retreating back. "I thought I told Seyes to put the boa and tarantulas in Crowley's office _after_ Baron Dorcen arrived. . . ."

**Kohl's**

Halt glared at his apprentice. "Gilan, tell me the next seven digits of pi, NOW!"

"Why, Halt?" Gilan's voice was higher than a squirrel's would be if it could talk.

"Because I must know!"

"So you can go to Kohl's?"

Halt spluttered. How could Gilan have figured that out? "N-no!"

Alyss poofed into existence, wearing a purple T-shirt. "The more you know, the more you Kohl's! Oh, and expect great things."

**L'Oreal**

Will walked into Alyss's rooms in Castle Redmont. Alyss was standing in front of her mirror and applying something to her face.

Will trotted over. "What's this?" he asked and picked up a plastic box with L'Oreal written on it.

"It's makeup." Alyss answered.

"Why do you use it? I mean you're beautiful as it is."

"Because I'm worth it."

And, boy, she was, Will thought. If he leaned one—

The door burst open and Will jumped back. Halt glared at him. "This is the _last_ time I'll say this! DO. NOT. FEED. TUG. MORE. THAN. TWO. APPLES. A. DAY. GOT IT?!"

**Yes? No? Maybe? You really don't care, you just didn't want to do your math homework? Ah, well, please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to paisley15, AreiaCananaid, Writer-born-from-Shadows (now Savannah Silverstone), Bralt, Guest FarmersDaughter, Guest sg1, Dash99, Icestorm238, and Morea24 for their reviews! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice.**

**Green Giant (Idea from Morea24)**

"Halt!" Pauline admonished. "Be jolly! It's our wedding!"

"But there's like fifty billion people out there!"

"No, there're only two hundred."

"Fine." Halt grumbled.

He put a fake smile in his face. He had to get this show on the road one of these days. He stepped onto the pavilion and said, "I welcome all of you to this lovely occasion! I admit, I didn't want to make this speech in front of so many people, but, as my new wife—"

A roar of approval emanated from the crowd.

"As I was saying, my wife told me, 'Halt, in the Valley of the Jolly, one has to be jolly.'"

Duncan couldn't help himself and yelled, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Green Giant."

**Farmers Insurance Agency (Suggestion from Morea24)**

Will reached for the paper Halt had given Baron Arald earlier that day.

Suddenly, a hand clamped onto Will's. Will stared into the Ranger's eyes. "No, please, sir! I—"

"Oh, don't worry." Halt steered Will into Baron Arald's chambers. "I'm afraid he did as expected, sir."

"Oh, no. I'm afraid, young Will, that you will soon be hearing, 'We are farmers! Bum ba bum bum bum bum!'"

Will's eyes widened in terror. "Oh, Good Heavens! Take a joke, boy! Take a joke!"

**Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sandwiches (Thanks to Guest sg1!)**

Alyss walked into the bridal shop. This was going to be perfect! Will had proposed to her last month and she had decided to go dress shopping. Will had been less enthusiastic about this idea.

"Oh, Jen, Cass! I think this one is perfect!" Alyss exclaimed, holding a dress out to her friends.

"Oh, gosh, Alyss! It looks perfect!" Cassandra gushed.

"Just look at the train and embroidery! It's exquisite!" Jenny enthused.

The small, blond shopkeeper smiled. "It's so shiny too."

For some reason, a choir suddenly appeared with Selethen at its head. "SHINE ON!" The choir sang. Selethen winked and they all disappeared.

Alyss turned to her friends, "Did you— never mind."

**A bit short, but what can you do? None of these scenario things had anything to do with the actual companies and products. . . . Oh, well. Anyways, please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to paisley15, Dash99, an anonymous Guest, Savannah Silverstone, AreiaCananaid, and Guest FarmersDaughter for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes and any mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Apple, Allstate, or Red Robin.**

**Apple (Thanks to Savannah Silverstone)**

Halt and Will rode their horses through the forest. Halt stopped. "What animal made these tracks, Will?"

Will peered at the tracks. Sometimes being Halt's apprentice could be really hard. "Ummm . . . rabbits?"

"Do those look like rabbit tracks?" In fact, the tracks were wolf tracks. Will was just too tired to even try today, and that was going to get him in trouble.

"But I thought—"

Halt cut him off, "You're an apprentice; you're not supposed to think."

A man stepped out of the woods and the cameras shut off. "Cut, cut, cut! No! Halt, that's a horrible line! Yeesh, say something like 'Think different!'"

**Allstate (Thanks to paisley15)**

Halt blew his nose. Colds were awful. How was he supposed to go to the annual Ranger Gathering now? And Pauline was on a mission, so she couldn't take care of him. He couldn't have Will or Gilan over either. He was too miserable to try to hold back the laughter. That would just ruin his reputation!

Halt sighed and immediately had a coughing fit. "I wish someone could be so nice as to take care of my while I have this stupid cold." Halt muttered.

Crowley threw the door open. Then, in a deep voice announced, "You're in Good Hands with Allstate."

Halt couldn't help it. He fell of the couch, laughing his head off. "I knew it!" Crowley screamed and ran a victory dance around the room.

**Red Robin (Thanks to AreiaCananaid and the anonymous Guest)**

Halt moved stealthily toward his mentor. This was going to be fun. Pritchard would never see him coming.

Pritchard sighed. Apprentices were so annoying. "Halt, if you weren't so occupied stalking me; you might see your stupid brother following you."

Halt stiffened. Why, the little rat! He was going to tell their parents and then what was he going to do? "Ferris, get your sorry little—" Halt started.

"Uh-uh-uh," Pritchard intervened.

Halt sighed. "Come on, Ferris! We can see you!" Actually, they couldn't, but the younger twin was obviously there.

Fifteen minutes later, Halt was still yelling at his severely distressed brother, who had, after a very severe threat, peed his pants.

"Halt, come here," Pritchard muttered, getting impatient. Halt went over and the ex-Ranger whispered something in Halt's ear.

A huge grin spread over Halt's face. "Red Robin!" he yelled.

Ferris stuck you head out from around a tree and shouted, "YUMMMMMMMMMMM!"

**Do you like? The scenarios still have nothing to do with the actual companies. Ah, well. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to paisley15,** **Savannah Silverstone, AreiaCananaid, Guest FarmersDaughter, Bralt, and Dash99 for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes and any mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Hunger Games, Nike, E*trade, or the NBA (National Basketball Association).**

**Nike (Thanks to Savannah Silverstone)**

Will took a deep breath. Now was the moment of his life. He had to swim in a lake. On second thought, as Will looked into the deep water, maybe not.

Halt sighed. "Will, one of these days, you'll have to learn how to swim."

"Why? What does swimming have to do with Rangers?"

Gilan poofed into existence. "Well, if you're being attacked by an axe murderer and your bowstring has snapped and you're on a cliff and all you can do is jump off and you have to speak in run-on sentences because the person writing this doesn't feel like punctuating correctly and you jump off and you're gonna die if you can't swim, you're gonna wish you had learned how to swim." He poofed out of existence.

Halt rolled his eyes. "For once, he's right."

"But I still don't wanna do it!" Will squeaked.

Halt pushed Will into the lake, "Just do it!"

**E*trade (Thanks to AreiaCananaid)**

Halt walked into the hardware store. It was Pauline's birthday tomorrow and Halt had no idea what she wanted. He glanced around the room. How about a hammer? Everyone liked hammers, right? Halt decided no. Oh, those were some cool pliers! How about those?

This went on for quite a while. Halt just didn't know what Pauline would want. Then he spotted the perfect gift. A drill.

He reached for it. Black O'Malley appeared and snatched his hand out of the air. "It's your money—invest wisely." He said then disappeared.

Halt stared at the place where Black O'Malley had been a minute before. _Now_ what was he gonna get Pauline?

**The NBA (Thanks to Savannah Silverstone)**

Halt and Will crept silently toward their enemy's camp. Will, Halt, and Horace had been tracking a mysterious band of foreigners of possible threat. There were about one thousand people altogether, many of which were women and children.

Suddenly, a very ugly woman (was it a woman?) stepped onto a podium and announced to the milling crowd, "It is time for the fifty-eighth annual Hunger Games, Where Amazing Happens!"

Halt and Will groaned. Not another band of idiots from another world. And they'd just finished getting rid of those stupid fangirls from Earth!

**Sorry for any mistakes with the Hunger Games thing. I've never read the books or watched the movie. Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to Guest FarmersDaughter, Savannah Silverstone, AreiaCananaid, paisley15, and Guest Cop for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Doritos, Tootsie-Pops, or Cheez-its.**

**Tootsie-Pops (Thanks to paisley15)**

Halt walked into the cabin. What was Will doing? "What, exactly, are you licking, Will?"

Will grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, wrote something on it, and handed it to Halt. Halt looked at it. It read:

A Tootsie-Pop. Why?

"I told you not to buy any more of those!"

Will took back the piece of paper, wrote something, and handed it back. "Eww, Will! It could have been in the back of that cupboard for years!"

"It was worth the chance. It tastes pretty good too." Will wrote.

Halt groaned. Apprentices could be so stupid! "What are you trying to accomplish anyway?"

Will wrote something else, "How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie-Roll center of a Tootsie-Pop? The world may never know. I wanted to know."

Halt glared at him and said the one thing that would be remembered for years, "Curiosity killed the cat, or, in your case, made you sleep in a tree!"

Will screamed. "No! Not the Tree!"

**Cheez-its (Thanks to paisley15)**

Horace sat in an alley behind the Battleschool. This was one of his five hideouts currently unknown to Alda, Bryn, and Jerome. He reached into his box of Cheez-its.

Alda, Bryn, and Jerome appeared around the corner. "Gimme the Cheez-its, baby." Alda sneered. He reached for the box.

Horace pulled away, "No!" They weren't even his to begin with!

Halt jumped from the branches if a nearby tree, snatched the box out of Horace's hands, kicked Alda, Bryn, and Jerome in their faces, yelled, "Get your own box," and disappeared.

A few seconds later, the box hit Horace in the face, "Those are stale!"

**Doritos (Thanks to AreiaCananaid)**

Will and the other kids in the ward were on a field trip to Castle Araluen. They had been riding for several hours now and George was getting very cross. "They should invent something in which you can travel faster! This is taking forever!" he complained.

Horace glared at him. "If you're so keen on it, make it yourself."

Alyss rolled her eyes. "He'd name it something stupid like 'car'"

George opened his mouth but was interrupted by an explosion. They fell to the ground and stayed there while vibrations rocked the earth. They slowly got up and stumbled toward the sight of the explosion.

A huge crater presented itself in the middle of the forest. Two weird purple creatures with large noses sat in the crater. One of them sighed, "Bob, it seems that you were wrong."

"Huh?" Will asked.

"Doritos: the loudest taste on earth." Bob said. "I could have sworn it was chocolate éclair cake but nooo."

**Maybe not the best chapter but it'll do. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to Savannah Silverstone, Icestorm238, Dash99, paisley15, AreiaCananaid, an anonymous Guest, With-the-Wolves, Guest FarmersDaughter, Unfocused and Confused, Bralt, and another anonymous Guest for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I realize I already did one for Geico but I got a request and I hope everyone likes it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice**

**Geico (Thanks to Unfocused and Confused)**

Halt was in a horrible mood. Will and Gilan had decided to host a party. In his cabin. Without asking him.

Gilan burst into the kitchen. "We need more punch, pronto!"

Halt glared at him. "I need you to leave me alone, pronto."

Gilan sighed and held out a mug of coffee to Halt, "Drink."

Halt took the coffee, took a sip, and smiled. "I love coffee."

Two men stood in front of a red fake curtain structure. They were playing lute-like instruments. They stopped playing and one of the men turned to the other, "Jimmy how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to Geico?"

"Happier than Halt when he has coffee," the other man replied.

**Orville Redenbacher's Popcorn (Thanks to Guest FarmersDaughter)**

Will and Gilan looked up at Halt, their eyes wide. "Do we have to, Halt?"

Halt glared at them. "Espresso isn't good for people who are naturally hyper."

"But I don't like decaf!" Will wailed.

"Yeah!" Gilan agreed. "I like espresso better then decaf!"

"You'll like it better or my name isn't Orville Redenbacher!" Halt said.

"Um, Halt?" Will asked.

"Yeah?"

"Your name isn't Orville Redenbacher."

Halt smiled evilly. "You don't know that."

**Target (Thanks to AreiaCananaid)**

"I wanted a blue bow! I expected a blue bow!" Gilan wailed at his parents.

His father sighed. "You get what you get."

"But why?" Gilan cried.

Gilan's mother sighed. "Gilan, expect more, pay less."

"What's that got to do with anything?" Gilan asked.

"We paid less by getting you a red bow."

Gilan's father turned to his wife, "Uh, no, we didn't."

"That's what you told me."

**Bum bum bum! Tsk, tsk. So sad. Anyways, sorry for the late update. Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to Savannah Silverstone, Guest FarmersDaughter, paisley15, Dash99, and AreiaCananaid for their reviews and suggestions! Thanks for the 50 reviews everyone! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans.** **I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, EA Sports, Luvs diapers, or Klondike bars.**

**EA Sports (Thanks to Bralt)**

Will released the bowstring, and the arrow slammed into the target.

"Better," Halt called from where he sat sipping his coffee. "With practice, _lots_ more practice, you might reach mediocre."

"But, Halt," Will complained. "This isn't fun!"

Halt sighed and took another sip of his coffee. "Of course it isn't."

"Ah-ha! So you admit it! It is boring!"

"I didn't say that. I said it wasn't fun—"

"Exactly!" Will interrupted.

"—because it's serious fun," Halt finished, smiling at Will's less than exuberant response. Then he yelled, "NO PROFANITY!"

**Luvs diapers (Thanks to paisley15)**

FIRST APPRENTICE

Halt studied the map of the routes that Morgarath would use. How could he prevent this so-far unsolvable problem with their defense in time? Then he got an idea.

Halt jumped up and swung into the saddle. He touched his heels to Abelard's sides, and they went off at a canter. He had to get to King Duncan and fast.

About one hour later, Halt realized something. He had left the sleeping Gilan at their campsite. Dang it.

SECOND APPRENTICE

Halt stared at the charts in his hands and realized the enormity of what he had to do. Halt glanced at the sky. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon. It was time to go.

Halt crept over to Will's sleeping form and kicked him in the side.

"Ow!" Will hollered and sat bolt upright. "Why did you do that, Halt?"

Halt just smiled and said, "By their second apprentice, every mentor is an expert."

**Klondike Bars (Thanks to Savannah Silverstone)**

Will searched through the freezer. Where were the Klondike bars?

Halt glanced up from a book about poisonous plants. "What are you looking for, Will? You're supposed to be practicing your silent movement."

"Well, yes, but I wanted a Klondike bar and I can't find them!"

Halt sighed and reached into the cooler that was on the floor next to his feet. He pulled out a Klondike bar. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?"

"I won't ask a question for six hours unless it is really, really important."

"Make it twenty-four and we have deal."

Will nodded and they shook hands. Will took the bar and started to eat it.

Five minutes later

"Can I have another Klondike bar?"

Halt's book made speedy contact with Will's head.

**Sorry for the late update. I got sick. My other stories will be updated soon too, for those of you that read them. Other suggestions will be used later, I just have so many, not a bad thing by any means. Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to Guest FarmersDaughter, paisley15, Savannah Silverstone, westwindwaker, Guest Ranger Robbin (I don't really know that one. Can you tell me more about it? I might remember it then), and AreiaCananaid for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, AT&T, Ocean Spray, or Caprisun.**

**AT&T (Thanks to Dash99)**

Halt had snuck out of the castle with his younger sister, Caitlin, several hours ago. Now he was showing her his newly learned Ranger skills.

Halt shot ten arrows in quick succession into the dead tree trunk fifty meters away. "What do you think, Caitlin?" he asked proudly.

Before she could respond, Ferris burst through the trees and yelled, "That's not possible!"

Halt looked at his younger twin disparagingly. "What isn't possible, you idiot?"

"How can you shoot so fast?" Ferris sniveled.

"It's not even close to impossible, you fool."

"It's impossible, I tell you! Everything I can't do impossible!"

Caitlin sighed. "Well, rethink possible."

**Ocean Spray juice (Thanks to AreiaCananaid)**

Crowley grinned. "Welcome, everyone! I've decided that we should all learn how to surf!"

Groans emanated from the crowd.

"Shaddup. This is gonna be fun!" Crowley said, glaring at the assembled Rangers.

"And how, exactly, do you figure that?" Will asked drily.

Crowley grinned evilly. "Halt's gonna go first! Come on up here, Halt!"

Halt glared at him but walked across the beach to Crowley. Halt was wearing the camouflage swimming trunks that Crowley had passed out and a black t-shirt. "Fine," he said, standing in front of Crowley.

Crowley's grin widened. This was gonna be really fun. Crowley gave Halt a long camouflage surfboard with a silver oakleaf symbol on the underside. He pointed towards the ocean. "There you go."

The other Rangers smirked. Halt was going to fail epically.

But they were wrong. Halt pushed himself into deeper water and expertly caught a huge wave. Sadly, the Rangers didn't know that surfing had been one of Halt's favorite pastimes as a teenager in Clonmel. Ten minutes later, a very triumphant Halt emerged from the waves. He grinned. "Ocean Spray. Crave the wave."

**Caprisun (Thanks to an anonymous Guest)**

Will and his ward mates sat on the steps of the back door to the castle keep. Martin ran up behind them, holding a cardboard box. He glared at them. He dropped the box on the stairs. "You kids better be grateful! This took away from my paycheck!"

They ignored him and reached into the box, pulling out Caprisuns. Martin sighed and disappeared. The twelve to fourteen year olds happily drank the juice.

When Horace was done, he threw it into the weeds. George glared at him and smacked the much bigger and stronger boy. "Respect the pouch!"

**Yeah, it's a miracle! I finally have one that has something to do with the actual product! Anyways, please review! Other suggestions will be used next chapter.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to paisley15, Ranger Amethyst, Guest FarmersDaughter, Savannah Silverstone, TugLover98, AreiaCananaid, Guest Ranger Robbin, and hey y'all watch this for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Huggies, Oreos, or Sonic.**

**Huggies (Thanks to Ranger Amethyst) **

Ferris ran into the dining room. "Look, Mommy!" he shouted, showing her the knife he had clutched in his hand.

His mother gasped. "Where did you get that, Ferris?"

"Halt gave it to me!"

Halt glared at his twin from across the table. "I did not. Anyway, I wouldn't give you something like that to begin with."

"Why?"

Their father interrupted by saying, "You can't have that, Ferris." He took the knife.

Ferris started to cry. "But I'm a big kid now!"

**Oreos (Thanks to TugLover98)**

Halt opened his bedroom door and strode into the kitchen. "Will—" he stopped. What was this abomination?

Will glanced up from where he was dunking a chocolate chip cookie into a glass of milk. "What?"

"How could you?"

Will cocked his head to the side. He went through his mental checklist of pranks he wanted to play on Halt. Nope, he hadn't done anything today. "What are you talking about, Halt?"

"A chocolate chip cookie? Really?"

"Yes, a chocolate chip cookie," Will said slowly. "What's the problem, Halt?"

"Oreos. Milk's favorite cookie. It's horrible!" Halt sobbed.

Will sighed and handed Halt a package of Oreos and a glass of milk. "Fine."

**Sonic (Thanks to AreiaCananaid)**

Halt and Will were in the parking places where you get your food at Sonic. A woman skated up to them. "Your coffee, sirs," she said, handing it to them.

They took the cups from her, and she departed to tend to another customer.

Several minutes passed as the Rangers sat on their horses and drank their coffee. Then, "This coffee is pretty good."

Will glanced up at his mentor and nodded. "Yep."

Suddenly, they heard a scream. Crowley galloped up to them and shouted, "It's not just good . . . it's Sonic good!"

Halt and Will stared after Crowley's retreating form. "That's a first," Halt muttered.

**I'm not too proud of this chapter but hopefully you'll like it. Please review! All other suggestions will be used in a later chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks to Dash99, Savannah Silverstone, Guest Ranger Robbin, AreiaCananaid, Ranger Amethyst, Guest FarmersDaughter, paisley15, and Tuglover98 for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Skittles, Wendy's, or Rice Krispies.**

**Skittles (Thanks to Dash99)**

A twenty-two-year-old Prince Duncan walked through the beautiful spring meadow with his girlfriend, Sylvia.

Sylvia smiled up at the sky. "Look, Duncan! A rainbow! It's so pretty!"

Duncan followed her gaze. "It is, but not as pretty as you."

"Awww, you're so sweet!" Sylvia started to turn toward Duncan, but someone (who looked suspiciously like a younger Lord Anthony) appeared right in front of her face. I mean, he was like two inches away and his eyes were really wide.

"Taste the rainbow!" he hissed, looking half demented. And such was the day that Duncan lost another girlfriend.

**Rice Krispies (Thanks to Guest Ranger Robbin)**

Will and Halt sat facing each other in a small clearing in the woods. "Alright, Will, today we are learning how to take care of broken bones when you don't have a doctor on hand."

"Okay, how do we do that? Are we going to have to break someone's arm to practice? I think that's mean. Would you be that mean, Halt?" Will asked in one breath.

Halt glared at him. "We aren't going to break anybody's arm. I'm tempted to break your jaw if you keep talking out of turn though. Now, the first thing you have to remember is to ignore all the—"

Gilan appeared out of nowhere. "Snap, crackle, pops!"

**Wendy's (Thanks to Guest Ranger Robbin)**

Halt glared at the piece of packaged turkey dangling from his thumb and forefinger. It just didn't look like real turkey. He glanced at the ingredients on the back of the package. Celery juice powder? That sounded lovely. And soy lecithin. Yummy.

Will padded through the front door of the cabin then stopped. "Halt?"

"Yes, Will?" he asked, absentmindedly.

"Why are you glaring at a piece of turkey?"

"But is it really turkey?" he mused.

"It isn't."

"How do you know?"

"You know when it's real."

**Um, so all of those were a little weird and short, but I like 'em and hopefully you will too! I know I have tons more suggestions, and I will get to them ASAP! I hope to do more commercial parodies, but those take longer to write. I already have two suggestions for those. Anyway, please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks to Dr Merlin, Dash99, Savannah Silverstone, TugLover98, Guest Ranger Robbin, AreiaCananaid, Guest FarmersDaughter, and paisley15 for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Chia Pet, Nationwide, or Dr. Pepper.**

**Chia Pet (Thanks to westwindwaker)**

George, Jenny, Alyss, Horace, and Will were in science class at the ward. Mr. Drimmers was their teacher. Mr. Drimmers' class was terribly boring. ". . . plant needs what to grow, class?" he asked.

George raised his hand. "Yes, George?"

"W-water and sun."

Mr. Drimmers shrugged. "Basically. And then what do you do, _Horace_?" he asked, spinning in the direction of the aforementioned boy, who had been slowly nodding off.

"Huh? Uhh . . . . Watch it grow?"

**Nationwide (Thanks to hey y'all watch this)**

Halt and Will glared at each other across the kitchen table. "I have a completely valid point," Will said angrily.

"And so do I," Halt replied.

"I should be able to go on a date with Alyss this Friday."

"You're seventeen, Will."

"And you're fifty-three, Halt."

"You're still too young to date."

"You're too old."

"I am not."

"Or so Pauline seems to think, huh?"

Halt's face reddened. "Shut up, and you're not going."

"Why is no one on my side?"

Crowley stuck his head in the room. "Nationwide is on your side!"

**Dr. Pepper (Thanks to Guest FarmersDaughter)**

Halt surveyed the woods. He had Will practicing silent and unseen movement. Will had improved a little. (Not that he'd admit that, of course.)

"You know," he started, "I believe I see someone's big, fat head. Maybe I'll shoot it if its owner doesn't move it!"

Will ducked behind a tree. Halt sighed. "Will, remember what I said? Use the cloak. Believe you are a tree and you will—"

"Be a pepper!" Will shouted. Halt face-palmed.

**I've wanted to do Nationwide for a while. That was so fun to write! Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks to With-the-Wolves, TugLover98, Savannah Silverstone, Guest FarmersDaughter, Guest Ranger Robbin, AreiaCananaid, and Bralt for their reviews! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Claritin Clear, Charmin, or Goldfish.**

**Claritin Clear (Thanks to AreiaCananaid)**

Crowley eyed the other Rangers and started to pace back and forth. "Today in Ranger Military Camp I will be teaching you cloaked idiots a very important lesson, got it?"

Jared, an older Ranger who was situated at Orden Fief, raised his hand tentatively.

"Yes, Jared?" Crowley shouted menacingly.

Jared flinched slightly. "I'm not an idiot," he protested, trembling a little.

"Maybe, but Will and Gilan are, and I couldn't very well say 'you cloaked smart people except Will and Gilan who are idiots' now could I?"

Jared shook his head. Crowley was scary when he was like this.

"Now," Crowley bellowed, "I want you to—"

"Live Claritin Clear!" Will shouted.

Crowley sighed and held out a small blue box of allergy pills. "Yes. . . ."

**Charmin (Thanks to Ranger Amethyst—yes, I'm seriously doing toilet paper, people)**

Gilan, Will, and Horace were in Halt's cabin—alone. So far they hadn't wrecked anything, but they would soon.

Will glanced at his friends. "Guys, we should switch Halt's toilet paper while he's gone!"

Gilan and Horace gasped like this was the greatest idea they had ever heard. "Oh, my gosh! We so should," Horace said excitedly.

They tip-toed up to Halt's door and gently eased it open. They hurried inside and moved to the bathroom door. The opened it and peered into the closet behind the door.

Gilan frowned. "Charmin? I've always thought of Halt as more of a Quilted Northern kinda guy," he mused.

Horace gave him an odd look. "You judge what toilet paper people use. . . . Wow. . . ." Gilan glared at him.

Will ignored them and reached for the Charmin toilet paper, switching it with some one-ply toilet paper.

And then the unthinkable (not really) happened. Halt appeared. _"What are you doing with my toilet paper?"_ he asked in a menacingly low voice.

They stopped then Gilan asked, "What is it you always say about this toilet paper, Halt?"

Halt scowled at him. "Enjoy the go."

**Goldfish (Thanks to TugLover98)**

Halt glared at the group of nine-year-olds sitting in front of him. Yesterday afternoon, Halt had been informed that the next day everyone who took care of the kids in the ward would be gone. Normally, this wouldn't concern him, but Arald had told him that while everyone was gone and nobody else was there to take care of the kids he should "spend quality time with those younger than you to smooth out your old grouchy patches." Arald was paying him big time.

Well, while he was here, he might as well get to know the annoying bundles of hyper-ness. "So, Will, what's your favorite snack?" he asked.

Will smiled up at him. "The snack that smiles back! Goldfish!"

**So, we've got allergy medicine, toilet paper, and crackers. . . . Yummy. Anyway, please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks to an anonymous Guest, Guest Ranger Robbin, Savannah Silverstone, Dash99, AreiaCananaid, Tuglover98, paisley15, and FarmersGirl101 for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Barq's Root Beer, Glad Trash Bags, or Dunkin' Donuts.**

**Barq's Root Beer (Thanks to Guest FarmersDaughter, now FarmersGirl101—I think this is what you meant)**

Halt and his two former apprentices sat on the porch of Halt's cabin sipping coffee.

"Halt!" Crowley yelled, galloping up on Cropper. A squirming bundle of fur was held carefully to his chest. Crowley's next exclamation revealed what the bundle actually was. "I got a puppy!"

Will glanced at his two friends. "Oh, no!" he exclaimed. "How is Crowley going to take care of a puppy? He's even worse than me!"

"And me too!" Gilan added.

Halt just looked at him.

"Never mind," muttered Gilan.

Crowley ran up with the puppy in his arms.

"Aww," Gilan practically squealed. He reached out to pet the dog. The dog, however, had other ideas. It snarled and snapped at Gilan's fingers. Gilan yelped and hastily moved his hand out of reach.

Crowley grinned. "Barq's has bite."

Halt groaned. "You called the dog Barq's?"

**Glad Trash Bags (Thanks to TugLover98)**

Halt glared at the four people sitting before him. "You don't know how mad I am at you right now," he said, his voice deadly quiet.

"Come on, lighten up, Halt." Crowley tried to placate the angry Ranger on the other side of the table.

Horace nodded. "Yeah, it was April Fools'!"

"All we did was switch your coffee with decaf!" Will added.

Halt snorted. "'All we did'? Switching my coffee should by law be punishable by . . . by death!"

Gilan sighed. "Well, I have some advice for you, Halt."

Halt scowled. "Oh?"

"Don't get mad, get glad!"

**Dunkin' Donuts (Thanks to Dash99)**

King Duncan's secretary, Anne, hurried into his office. "Your Majesty, your new line of coffee and donuts specifically for Rangers, Dunkin' Donuts, is ready for its debut." She handed him a box of coffee. "What do you think?"

Duncan took the box. He frowned. "Why isn't Dunkin' spelled D-u-n-c-a-n?"

"Copyright issues. Now, we need a slogan. Any suggestions, Your Majesty?"

Duncan thought for a second. "America runs on Dunkin'."

Anne blinked in shock. "Um, you mean Araluen, right?"

Duncan shook his head. "Araluen runs on Dunkin' doesn't sound right."

Anne nodded. "Of course, Your Majesty."

**Sorry for the late update! Thank you so much everybody for the 100 reviews! You guys are awesome! All other suggestions will be used in the next or a later chappie. Please review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks to Unfocused and Confused, paisley15, Ranger Indecisive, and Savannah Silverstone for their reviews and suggestion! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description. BTW, Eragon is older in the Pepsi commercial than he was in the books. Pop is the same thing as soda.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, The Inheritance Cycle, Toyota, Pepsi, or DirecTV.**

**Parody of Toyota RAV4 Genie Commercial (Thanks to Guest Ranger Robbin)**

Gilan, Will, Crowley, and Halt got out of Halt's brand new Toyota RAV4 carrying bags of groceries—mostly coffee. Halt noticed a spot on the hood of the car. He reached over and wiped it off before turning around and following his friends to the door.

A whoosh sounded behind him and they turned to see a blond woman in a purple suit appear out of a cloud of purple smoke with a Chihuahua in her arms. "Hey, Rangers," she said, "I'm your RAV4 genie. Your wish is my command."

Crowley frowned. "Well, I wish I liked jalapenos."

The genie gave him an odd look. "Really? Out of everything in the—okay." She snapped her fingers.

Will grinned. "Unlimited coffee that doesn't take up tons of space?"

The genie smiled back. "Much better." She snapped her fingers again and Will was holding a small bag labeled 'Unlimited Coffee Beans'.

"Oooh, I wish I could eat as many cookies as I want!" Gilan exclaimed.

They appeared in a dentist's office. The dentist was examining Gilan's teeth. "This won't do, Ranger Gilan," he said. "I'm afraid your teeth will rot if you don't eat at least five cookies a day."

Halt glanced at the genie. "I wish Will asked fewer questions."

Will eyed his former mentor. "Why—" The genie snapped her fingers and Will's mouth moved for a few more seconds until he realized he couldn't ask any more questions. "Well, that's rude," he muttered. Halt grinned.

**Parody of Pepsi's One Direction and Drew Brees commercial (Thanks to paisley15)**

Will hummed and opened the fridge in a large suite for all the famous people at Castle Araluen. He reached in and removed a Pepsi before turning back the way he had come to meet Alyss, who happened to be at Castle Araluen at the time.

A man appeared and took hold of the can. "C'mon, kid," he said. "I'm Eragon Shadeslayer."

Will tugged the pop back. "And I'm Will."

"Who?"

Halt, Gilan, and Crowley popped up behind Will. "One of the most famous Rangers," they said.

Halt held up a copy of the treaty between Skandia and Araluen. "Helped achieve peace between two countries."

Eragon held up Brisingr. "Made this."

Crowley held up a ninety-pound draw weight bow. "Can shoot and string this with no problem."

Eragon smirked. "Can kill you with one word."

Crowley tossed the bow away carelessly.

"Oh yeah?" Gilan asked. A crowd of cheering fangirls and guys appeared behind the Rangers.

"Yeah," Eragon said. A crowd of screaming fangirls and guys appeared behind him too.

Halt sighed. "If you give him the Pepsi, you can be a Ranger."

"Really?" Eragon asked and released the can of Pepsi. Will opened it and took a sip.

A WEEK LATER . . .

Crowley, Halt, Will, and Gilan moved silently and invisibly through the dense forest. They stopped and turned to Eragon. "Now you do it," Will said.

Eragon started to crash through the undergrowth. Halt glanced around. "Does anyone know if Erak decided to visit?"

**Parody of DirecTV's What's Cable Worse Than? commercial (Thanks to Guest Ranger Robbin)**

Halt and Crowley sat on the couch in Crowley's quarters in Castle Araluen. Halt pushed a button on the remote to the TV and a notice appeared on the screen letting them know there was a recording conflict.

Halt sighed. "I hate that cable only lets us record two shows at once."

Crowley glanced at him and nodded. "Me too. Cable's worse than:

_Crowley sat in his office. King Duncan burst in with a humongous stack of papers. He dropped them on Crowley's desk. "Hey, Crowley. I want these done in an hour, 'kay?"_

"Not being able to record all our shows at once is more annoying than:

_Will sat down in the chair across from Halt's. He pulled out his mandola or lute or whatever and began to play and sing, "Oh, Halt, can I have a popsicle? Oh, Halt, can I have a kitty? Oh, Halt, what is a TV? Oh, Halt, won't you tell me please?"_

"We need to upgrade to DirecTV and get the new Genie," Crowley said. "She lets you record five shows at once."

"I want DirecTV more than:

_Pauline glided up to Halt holding a one foot tall and one foot in diameter mug of coffee. "Happy Anniversary, honey," she said, smiling and setting the mug down in front of him._

**Having Will play his mandola and sing questions at you would be very annoying. Please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks to Ranger indecisive, paisley15, Guest Ranger Robbin (who now has an account, pen name is Book Soldier), Savannah Silverstone, Lorrie the Ninja Elf, and Dash99 for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, the NBA, McDonald's, My Little Pony, Barbie, Superman, Nerf guns, Coca-Cola, or Daisy Sour Cream.**

**Parody of the NBA McDonald's commercial (Thanks to Savannah Silverstone)**

Halt shot several arrows into various targets, hitting the bull's eyes perfectly. Will sat in the grass to the side of Halt. He set down a bag of food from McDonald's. Halt brought down his bow and glanced at his former apprentice. "Will," he said in greeting.

"Hey, Halt," he said. "What's up?"

"What do you have in the bag?"

"Big Mac, fries."

"I'll play you for it."

"My lunch?"

"First one to get out of the bull's eye watches the other one eat."

Will shrugged and got up. "Okay."

"Alright, we shoot ten arrows each at those two dinner plate-sized targets 150 meters away and whoever gets an arrow out of the bull's eye loses."

Halt and Will grabbed their bows and knocked arrows. They shot several arrows as fast as they could and then took their time on the rest except the second to last arrow where they shot from a crouching position. Then Will shot one last time and shattered his target.

"Smooth, Will," Halt muttered.

They heard clapping and turned to see a tall man with short-ish curly brown hair in an overcoat and scarf sitting on the grass. "Great show, guys," he said. He got up and held up a fry. "And thanks for lunch." He walked away.

"Who's he?" Will asked.

"I have no idea."

"He's taking our lunch, Halt."

**Coca-Cola's 1952 slogan (Thanks to Book Soldier)**

Halt and Will entered the toy store. "I don't know why I'm taking you here," Halt groaned.

"Because I beat you in archery today," Will replied matter-of-factly. Halt groaned again and they started deeper into the store.

"Oh my gosh!" Will said. "It's Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy!" He pointed to a box with two plastic My Little Pony ponies in it. "I so want that!" Will dropped it into the cart.

Halt let go of the cart he had been pushing. "You can push it. I'm not pushing around My Little Pony or Barbie."

Will snorted. "Like I'd get a Barbie!" He started to say something else, but was distracted as a toy caught his eye. "No way! A Superman action figure!"

"Doll," Halt muttered. Will paid no attention and dropped the toy in the cart.

"Oh, look! A Nerf gun!"

"You're not getting a Nerf gun."

"Why not?"

Halt handed Will a Coca-Cola. "What you want is a Coke."

**Daisy sour cream (Thanks to Book Soldier)**

Will, Halt, and Horace were at a huge feast in their honor at Castle Araluen. They had just finished a mission that had saved Araluen from a team of rouge soldiers from Skandia, Hibernia, Arrida, and Nihon-Ja that had planned to get Picta to join them in taking over Araluen. This was one of the things Duncan had done to welcome them back from their long journey and thank them for their service, especially since this was one of Halt's last missions.

Will surveyed the table for sour cream. He had recently learned of tacos and had asked Duncan to have one of his chefs prepare some, only the chef, in his first time ever making the dish, had forgotten the sour cream. He saw a mostly white tub of sour cream on the table. He reached for the tub and noticed the brand.

"Oh, look, Halt!" he exclaimed. "It's Daisy brand sour cream."

Halt fixed him with a glare. "So?" he asked around a mouthful of taco.

"So, Daisy Daisy sour cream fresh and tasty naturally, a dip for you and a dollop for me, Daisy just goes with family so do a dollop do do a dollop of Daisy do a dollop do do a dollop/Things taste better with a dollop of Daisy do a dollop do do a dollop of Daisy do a dollop do do a dollop of Daisy do a dollop do do a dollop of Daisy!" Will sang enthusiastically.

Everyone stared shocked at the Ranger who was smiling gleefully. Halt face-palmed.

**I was going to do the slogan for Daisy but I looked up the song and couldn't resist. In the NBA McDonald's commercial parody, the guy that took Halt and Will's lunch is Sherlock from BBC's Sherlock. I couldn't resist using him. And I don't own him. Please review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks to Savannah Silverstone, paisley15, i'masian-aru, Phoenix Risin, Lorrie the Ninja Elf, Book Soldier, Tuglover98, Guest AWESOMENESS, Dash99, and Guest Random for their reviews and suggestions! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or mistakes in the slogans. I am not saying that any of the companies or products in this fic are better than another company or product of similar description.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, Glad Trash Bags, PSP, or Capital One.**

**I Can't Believe It's Not Butter (Thanks to Dash99)**

Will frowned and sat back in his chair at the kitchen table. "Halt. Do we have any cheese?"

"Yeah. Look in the drawer in the fridge," Halt said without looking up from his newspaper.

Will got up and opened the fridge door. He reached out and pulled out the drawer. "There's no cheese in here, Halt."

Halt frowned. "I just bought some yesterday." He got up and walked over to the fridge. He looked inside and grabbed a block of cheddar cheese out of the drawer. "How could you have not seen this?"

"Because that's butter."

"No, it's not. It says 'cheddar cheese' right on the package!"

"I can't believe it's not butter!"

Halt face-palmed.

**Glad Trash Bags (Thanks to TugLover98)**

Will grinned at Horace and Crowley. Gilan was on a mission so Will had recruited Crowley instead. "Okay, guys. Here's the paint. We have to finish this before Halt comes home Monday. That means we have exactly two days and fourteen hours. On your mark, get set, go!" They rushed into Halt's bedroom.

Monday morning:

"Guess what, Halt!" Will shouted as he flung the door open even before Halt could reach for the doorknob.

"You're going to leave me alone," Halt replied and pushed his way past his apprentice.

"No, we've got a surprise for you!" Crowley said brightly.

"What are you doing here? I don't want a surprise!"

"Too bad!" Horace said. "Come this way."

Horace, Will, and Crowley escorted Halt to his bedroom door. Crowley flung the door open. "How do you like it?"

Halt's mouth dropped open. His room was painted a bright shade of hot pink with neon green and orange polka dots. His carpet was a blindingly bright aqua. Several posters of Justin Beiber and Nicki Minaj covered the walls. Halt's face started to redden in anger.

"Don't get mad, get glad!" Horace said cheerfully.

Halt glared at him. "Tree."

**Capital One (Thanks to Book Soldier)**

Halt walked into the video game store with his new apprentice Will. "Okay, you can buy one game and that's it. I'm not made of money."

Will looked a little sulky at this, but was happy to be in the store anyway and decided not to argue. Then Will remembered that he really needed a memory card for his PSP and he really wanted a game too. Hmm, well, memory cards were very small and the package wasn't very big. It could fit in his wallet.

Will sidled up to the display of memory cards. He glanced around to make sure nobody was looking and picked up a 16GB memory card. He folded the package and pulled out his wallet. He stuffed the package into his wallet, and, pretending nothing had happened, walked over to the PSP games.

Halt had seen the whole thing without Will noticing. He sauntered up to his apprentice. "Sooo, Will, what's in your wallet?"

Will turned a bright shade of red and pulled the memory card out of his wallet. Halt took it out of his hand and set it on a nearby stack of video games. "Just wait till Crowley hears about this!" he exclaimed, a wolfish smile on his face. Will smiled weakly and resigned himself to his fate.

**Please note that you shouldn't steal and I'm not saying you should do it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks to TugLover98 and Book Soldier for their reviews! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, AT&T, Blue shampoo, or Folger's coffee.**

**AT&T (Thanks to Book Soldier)**

Will clicked a button on his computer screen with his mouse. "And done! Halt is going to love this!"

The next week:

"Will, did you order something?" Halt asked, picking up a package on the front steps.

Will ran out of his room and quickly grabbed the package from his mentor. "Yep!" he yelled on his way back to his room.

Halt frowned after him as his bedroom door slammed shut. He shrugged and sat back down in his chair.

The next day:

Halt walked into the cabin to have a blow-up globe shoved in his face. "Guess what, Halt!" Will said.

"What?" Halt asked, snatching the globe out of his apprentice's hands.

"You now have a new way of teaching me geography!"

"No."

"But it's your world. Delivered."

Halt took a pin and popped the globe. "No."

**Blue Shampoo (Thanks to AreiaCananaid)**

Halt and Will rode thru the dark and cold forest. They were riding back home after a successful mission. "Will," Halt said, pointing to a mark in the light snow, "what made this footprint?"

Will frowned and studied the odd shape. It looked like a porcupine had fallen on its back in the snow. So Will replied, "It looks like a porcupine fell from that tree," he pointed to a tree above him, "and landed on its back."

Halt glared at him and grabbed a bottle of what looked like blue shampoo from his saddlebags. He threw it at Will. "No! Get a clue, get the Blue!"

**Folger's Coffee (Thanks to TugLover98)**

Halt sighed and walked into the kitchen. He glanced around as he opened the cupboard where he kept his coffee. He started a pot of coffee and observed the disaster of his living room.

Last night, Will had invited Horace, Gilan, Jenny, George, Cassandra, and Alyss over for his nineteenth birthday and Halt had left for several hours to "run some errands." In reality, he had spent a romantic evening with Pauline. When he returned home at about one-thirty at night, Horace, Gilan, and Will were passed out on the living room floor and Cassandra and Alyss were chatting at the kitchen table. George had left an hour or two before because he had to get up early the next morning.

Now ten o'clock that morning, Horace was asleep on the couch and, presumably, Will was asleep in his room. Alyss, Cassandra, and Gilan had left sometime during the night. The cabin was slightly trashed and Halt had a feeling that Will wouldn't be much help cleaning up.

Halt could foresee a long and stressful day. He sighed. Then he noticed his coffee was done. He poured himself a cup and sang softly, "The best part of waking up is Folger's in your cup!"

Horace opened his eyes groggily. "Did you just sing something, Halt?"

Halt froze slightly then quickly said. "What? You're hearing things, Horace."

**I'm not too sure what I think of this chapter, but then it more what you guys think than what I think. But if I thought it was super crappy then it would probably be super crappy. Well, let's hope you like it. Anyway, please review!**


End file.
